Remembering Whose We Are

At different times in this life, we tend to forget things ~ a person’s name, an event, directions, etc. The human mind is not always under our own control. As we age, time can take its toll on our memory.

As I am nearing my eightieth birthday, losing my memory is not what I want to think about. Still vivid in my mind are those years of caring for my mother, who died at the age of 92 after suffering through years of dementia.

This experience left me with many things to consider, which we have published in our books. For this article, one thing is on my mind.

It is to remind and encourage God’s children to spend time with Him ~ quality time ~ every day, getting to know our heavenly Father through His Word, Jesus Christ,  and communion in His Spirit; and to teach your children.

“For the word of God is quick, and powerful,
and sharper than any twoedged sword,
piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit,
and of the joints and marrow,
and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”
Hebrews 4:12

When we are unable to think or speak as we normally do, we naturally go into default mode ~ deferring to the things in which we are rooted and grounded.

“That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith;
that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
 may be able to comprehend…” 
Ephesians 3:17

What has been established in our hearts and minds is our one hope that brings us through times of uncertainty. Filled with His truth and grace, we can be assured that we are in His care ~ wrapped in His glory, forever.

My prayer at this stage is that the Lord will keep me filled with His grace, surrounded by His love, caring for me. Even when I forget everyone else and my own mechanisms fail, I pray to remember whose I am as a witness to others of His grace ~ for His glory.

Dear Father, show us who you are,
that we may remember whose we are.
In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

Fran

Suggested Reading: First Things That Last Forever;
The Garden of God’s Word
What the Holy Bible Says about The Word of God
Child Keeping: God’s Blessing to Parents

Just When We Thought

We were beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel……

It was mid-2006. Mother had continued to decline in the four years she lived with us. Her physical condition was adding its toll to her dementia. We had done all we could since my dad died of cancer several years before.  While caring for her, we kept two of our granddaughters two days a week ~ a joy and a respite for us and Mother.

But, something had to give.

Her month in a nursing home before she died did not make life any easier. Even so, we hoped this would end our adventures with adversity. No so. Five weeks through the settling of her small estate, Jerry had emergency by-pass surgery on his left leg.

A month later, his leg had to be amputated. After three years of not healing, he had a third surgery to remove the graft inserted for the by-pass.  The stump finally healed seven months later and for a short while he used a prosthesis with a walker. But it is still painful.

For the last two years, he has not driven a car, walked, or worn a shoe because of issues with wounds that would not heal. His heart disease and diabetes are not our best friends.

Why am I rehashing these affairs? One reason is to witness of the fulness of God’s grace during trials in this life and to compare the lives of God’s children to the children of Israel as He delivers us from our bondage to self and sin and brings us through this wilderness to His promised land for us.

A Worse Scenario
God’s people had been in bondage four hundred years when the Lord sent Moses and Aaron to Egypt. Their case before Pharoah to deliver Israel only made their condition worse. Not only were they still required to make bricks, but they had to find their own straw. They could not understand how the Lord was working for their freedom.

“Then, as they came out from Pharaoh, they met Moses and Aaron who stood there to meet them. And they said to them, “Let the Lord look on you and judge, because you have made us abhorrent in the sight of Pharaoh and in the sight of his servants, to put a sword in their hand to kill us.” Exodus 5:20-21

Like the people of Israel, we cannot see how the Lord is working on our behalf until we get past a breaking point. Adversity is His means of proving His presence and power in the lives of His children, enabling us to live in the assurance He gives and to praise Him every day.

“My brethren, count it all joy
when ye fall into divers temptations; 
Knowing this,
that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have her perfect work,
that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”
James 1:2-4

More and more, we are learning what Paul meant when he said, “I have learned to be content.” Jesus becomes more precious with each trial, endears us to Him and excites our hope for eternal life with Him.

It is in the “something has to give” times that He fills us with His grace and shows His mercy ~ growing us in the process to understand the truth and reality of His promises. Christ in you ~ the hope of glory is experienced in every turn of this life, bringing us closer and closer to Him, His glory and His joy.

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time
are not worthy to be compared with the glory
which shall be revealed in us.
Romans 8:18

Dear Father, as we are still learning what it means to grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ, we pray your Holy Spirit to prove us to be yours. Fill us with your grace and make us know your goodness and mercy that follows us all the days of our lives; that we shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
Fran
Suggested Reading: TWO FULL PLATES ~ Learning to be a Caregiver

Image: Pixabay

TRUTH ~ by Man’s Will or God’s Grace?

So then it depends not on human will or exertion,
but on God, who has mercy.

Romans 9:16 ESV

As deists, Voltaire and Diderot attacked Christianity—“their primary weapon aimed at the church was ‘truth’.” (Dr. Bruce Shelley, Church History in Plain Language)  “We think that the greatest service to be done to men,” said Diderot, “is to teach them to use their reason, only to hold for truth what they have verified and proved.” What did these men know of “truth” in their young years of their own “enlightenment?”  What had they proven by their own “reasoning” in their latter years?  What did they have in the end?

Man may create happiness for himself while he is able to think clearly, when everything seems to be in his control, but this does not last. God has proven His work of grace, not only through His written word (which “reasoning” discards), but in the reality of life to its very end.

God proved the truth of His grace to me in 1994 as I, for three weeks, watched my dad gradually consumed by esophageal cancer.*  How could he “reason” for himself what was happening to him?  What was truth to him, at that point of his life?  He had only the mercy (which he had asked for) and the grace of God, which we all experienced together.  He could no longer eat or drink.  He could do nothing but wait for his final breath. He was never on morphine, and so was aware of everything going on around him. He could hear, (until now I had not realized that as a work of God’s grace), and we had those last days to sit by his side, to sing to him, to read the Father’s precious words of truth.  God’s grace was strikingly evident in Daddy’s humility, and his peaceful spirit of acceptance in his last week, and at the end.  He died on Labor Day—his epitaph, “Resting in the Lord.”

For five years we experienced the devastating effects of dementia in Mother’s life. She had no means of “reasoning.”  Nor could we, even though we could still think clearly—clearly in that we could accept that God was sovereign, in control of all things.   Though we could not understand through our own reasoning, we were learning more and more to trust in God’s mercy and grace for what each day would bring. (And we failed many times—for who is prepared ahead of time for such things.)  Her last month was spent in a nursing home, much to our grief; but we were not able to care for her any longer.  I could not “reason” with that.

But, even there, in her last few days, God’s hand of mercy and grace sustained us and held us together.  She had been unresponsive for almost four days.  Jerry and I sat with her those last few hours.  Monday was my birthday, and I prayed, “Father, please don’t let her die on my birthday.”  At midnight the nurses were in and out, checking her vital signs.  The younger nurse asked the older (who was wearing the white cap, and the white uniform), “Shouldn’t we give her something?”  The older nurse answered, “No, she is at peace.”  A few minutes later, as I detected her breathing to be very shallow, and holding her hand, I stood and recited Psalm 23 for her.  When I finished, she took her last breath.  I looked at the clock.  It was 12:38. I could not have willed that; it was God’s grace.

Another example is Ed, 86, who was a member of our church.  He has dementia and now lives with his daughter, Cyndi,  and her husband in another state.  In her last email she wrote of how she reads the Bible to him, and he will quote with her much of God’s Word, as she reads.  It is not by his “reasoning” but by God’s grace, that he recalls the Word of truth that he had hidden in his heart.

“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace,
who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself
restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
This is the true grace of God.  Stand firm in it.
1 Peter 5:10-12 ESV

*One Month to Live ~ A Father’s Last Words was my first book (yet unpublished), in which I recorded the working of God’s grace in those three weeks.

 

TRUTH ~ by Man’s Will or God’s Grace?

So then it depends not on human will or exertion,
but on God, who has mercy.

Romans 9:16 ESV

As deists, Voltaire and Diderot attacked Christianity—“their primary weapon aimed at the church was ‘truth’.” (Dr. Bruce Shelley, Church History in Plain Language*)  “We think that the greatest service to be done to men,” said Diderot, “is to teach them to use their reason, only to hold for truth what they have verified and proved.” What did these men know of “truth” in their young years of their own “enlightenment?”  What had they proven by their own “reasoning” in their latter years?  What did they have in the end?

Man may create happiness for himself while he is able to think clearly, when everything seems to be in his control, but this does not last. God has proven His work of grace, not only through His written word (which “reasoning” discards), but in the reality of life to its very end.

God proved the truth of His grace to me in 1994 as I, for three weeks, watched my dad gradually consumed by esophageal cancer.**  How could he “reason” for himself what was happening to him?  What was truth to him, at that point of his life?  He had only the mercy (which he had asked for) and the grace of God, which we all experienced together.  He could no longer eat or drink.  He could do nothing but wait for his final breath. He was never on morphine, and so was aware of everything going on around him. He could hear, (until now I had not realized that as a work of God’s grace), and we had those last days to sit by his side, to sing to him, to read the Father’s precious words of truth.  God’s grace was strikingly evident in Daddy’s humility, and his peaceful spirit of acceptance in his last week, and at the end.  He died on Labor Day—his epitaph, “Resting in the Lord.”

For five years we experienced the devastating effects of dementia in Mother’s life. She had no means of “reasoning.”  Nor could we, even though we could still think clearly—clearly in that we could accept that God was sovereign, in control of all things.   Though we could not understand through our own reasoning, we were learning more and more to trust in God’s mercy and grace for what each day would bring. (And we failed many times—for who is prepared ahead of time for such things.)  Her last month was spent in a nursing home, much to our grief; but we were not able to care for her any longer.  I could not “reason” with that.

But, even there, in her last few days, God’s hand of mercy and grace sustained us and held us together.  She had been unresponsive for almost four days.  Jerry and I sat with her those last few hours.  Monday was my birthday, and I prayed, “Father, please don’t let her die on my birthday.”  At twelve midnight the nurses were in and out, checking her vital signs.  The younger nurse asked the older (who was wearing the white cap, and the white uniform), “Shouldn’t we give her something?”  The older nurse answered, “No, she is at peace.”  A few minutes later, as I detected her breathing to be very shallow, and holding her hand, I stood and recited Psalm 23 for her.  When I finished, she took her last breath.  I looked at the clock.  It was 12:38. I could not have willed that; it was God’s grace.

A most recent example is of Ed, 86, still a member of our church, but no longer attending.  He has dementia (Alzheimer’s Disease) and now lives with his daughter, Cyndi,  and her husband in another state.  In her last email she wrote of how she reads the Bible to him, and he will quote with her much of God’s Word, as she reads.  It is not by his “reasoning” but by God’s grace, that he recalls the Word of truth that he has hidden in his heart.

“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace,
who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself
restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
This is the true grace of God.  Stand firm in it.
1 Peter 5:10-12 ESV

*Our pastor is sharing this study with our membership.  **”Daddy” was my first book, in which I recorded the working of God’s grace in those three weeks.

Related articles

The Light of God’s Grace

*OUR OWN LITTLE WORLDS

On this planet earth many of us are living within our own little worlds—wombs that we think are protecting us from the rest of the world.  In essence we have imprisoned ourselves.

Before birth a baby is cradled, fed, and cared for naturally.  From the womb of the mother he exits to find himself in unknown territory, unprepared to deal with ‘life.’  This helpless bundle of blood, tissue and cells must depend on someone to show him how to survive on the outside.

Does he wonder where he is, where he came from, or how he got here?  No; his only thought is, “I need…” communicated by-way-of his natural mechanism.

But look:  Mommy cannot respond to his needs—he sees her in a fetal position, surrounded by a crystal-like ball. He is trying to tell her that he needs to be held, to feel the closeness they had while he was in the mother’s womb, to know that this world is a safe place for him to be.

She cannot break through; she has closed herself in.  Because of her own fears she is unable to convince her child that he can be secure, that his vital needs will always be met.

Soon he metamophorically forms his own outer shell and becomes one of the millions of bubbles floating around the universe, passing time and people without understanding the meaning of his existence.

(The mother is always the closest to the new-born — except for dire circumstances. Her relationship is crucial to her baby.  She is the first to nurture, to feed, to hold.  This bond between mother and child is the most important.  The person who carries him in her womb for nine months should be free for a period of time to love this baby and to meet its needs.  [I am not sure that I agree completely with Dr. William Sears, but in his book, Parenting Your Baby, he says that a new mother should plan to live in her nightgown for two weeks, nursing, holding, grooming, rocking and “securing” her new-born.  For the first year the new baby needs to know that he lives in a safe environment.]  The father’s role is to support and nurture this mother-baby relationship.  As a result he will be seen as a gentle, but strong, human being and will take his rightful place as head of his household. It is this family relationship that is the example for the future relationship this child will have with God, his heavenly Father, and His family.)

Families that have good parenting skills are rare.  We face the two most important lift-time decisions—marriage and parenting— without proper training.  We make our decisions based on feelings, from what we know, what we want, and what we see others doing.

Experience has shown that parents who were loved and ‘secured’ are able to love their children.  If you have been nurtured, you have been trained to nurture.  These are the people whose feet are on the ground—anchored to a purpose and a meaning for life—who see and respond to the needs of others.  These are the people who are trying to burst the bubbles of those whose cries were never heard.

How do these people convince others that they are loved and have a purpose for living?  —- to be continued)

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This above article was written in the 1980s during my times of conflict, doubt, and anxiety—the natural way I had learned to live.

The mother in this story is me at a time in my life when things seemed hopeless—a mother who could not help herself, not knowing where to turn, and not able to help anyone else. My own little world was all I knew.  This little world is a dark world which leaves no room for anyone but self.

Darkness is not a pleasant state in which to be. But then God began to shine the light into my heart. There was a calling to something from Someone I did not yet know.  My drawing was first to The Word of God which is contained in The Holy Bible.  Here I began to read and to love what I was learning, which eventually led me to Jesus Christ, who is revealed in His Word.  Then I began to love God, the Father, and God, the Son, that Someone whose light was strong enough to penetrate my darkness and bring me into His light.

Not only did the light become brighter and brighter, but I could also look back and see the darkness He had brought me through.  Still not knowing the meaning of life, nor my purpose, there was evidence that our heavenly Father had been with me all my life, protecting and guiding in a way that I did not fully understand.

During the four and a half years of caring for Mother in her last stages of dementia, and the first year in caring for Jerry after two surgeries on his left leg—the second one an amputation below the knee— the bubble formed again and my own little world seemed to be all I could handle.

Again, God, our heavenly Father,  by the power of His own light, penetrated my “little world”—the sharpness and piercing of the two-edged sword is like a laser.  (Hebrews 4:12) He continues to permeate my whole being, and perpetuate the light of His grace in my heart and through my life.  He works in each of us, by His own power, to see the needs of others, to care, intercede, and touch the lives of those for whom we pray—for His glory and our joy.

“The path of the just is as a shining light, shining more and more unto the perfect day.”

Proverbs 5:18

*(Introduction to God’s Glory and Our Joy, The Ministry of Intercession)

TRUTH ~ by Man’s Will or God’s Grace?

So then it depends not on human will or exertion,
but on God, who has mercy.

Romans 9:16 ESV

As deists, Voltaire and Diderot attacked Christianity—“their primary weapon aimed at the church was ‘truth’.” (Dr. Bruce Shelley, Church History in Plain Language*)  “We think that the greatest service to be done to men,” said Diderot, “is to teach them to use their reason, only to hold for truth what they have verified and proved.” What did these men know of “truth” in their young years of their own “enlightenment?”  What had they proven by their own “reasoning” in their latter years?  What did they have in the end?

Man may create happiness for himself while he is able to think clearly, when everything seems to be in his control, but this does not last. God has proven His work of grace, not only through His written word (which “reasoning” discards), but in the reality of life to its very end.

God proved the truth of His grace to me in 1994 as I, for three weeks, watched my dad gradually consumed by esophageal cancer.**  How could he “reason” for himself what was happening to him?  What was truth to him, at that point of his life?  He had only the mercy (which he had asked for) and the grace of God, which we all experienced together.  He could no longer eat or drink.  He could do nothing but wait for his final breath. He was never on morphine, and so was aware of everything going on around him. He could hear, (until now I had not realized that as a work of God’s grace) and we had those last days to sit by his side, to sing to him, to read the Father’s precious words of truth.  God’s grace was strikingly evident in Daddy’s humility, and his peaceful spirit of acceptance in his last week, and at the end.  He died on Labor Day—his epitaph, “Rest in the Lord.”

For five years we experienced the devastating effects of dementia in Mother’s life. She had no means of “reasoning.”  Nor could we, even though we could still think clearly—clearly in that we could accept that God was sovereign, in control of all things.   Though we could not understand through our own reasoning, we were learning more and more to trust in God’s mercy and grace for what each day would bring. (And we failed many times—for who is prepared ahead of time for such things.)  Her last month was spent in a nursing home, much to our grief; but we were not able to care for her any longer.  I could not “reason” with that.

But, even there, in her last few days, God’s hand of mercy and grace reached down and held us together.  She had been unresponsive for almost four days.  Jerry and I sat with her those last few hours.  Monday was my birthday, and I prayed, “Father, please don’t let her die on my birthday.”  At twelve midnight the nurses were in and out, checking her vital signs.  The younger nurse asked the older (who was wearing the white cap, and the white uniform), “Shouldn’t we give her something?”  The older nurse answered, “No, she is at peace.”  A few minutes later, as I detected her breathing to be very shallow, and holding her hand, I stood and recited Psalm 23 for her.  When I finished, she took her last breath.  I looked at the clock.  It was 12:38. I could not have willed that; it was God’s grace.

A most recent example is of Ed, 86, still a member of our church, but no longer attending.  He has dementia (Alzheimer’s Disease) and now lives with his daughter, Cyndi,  and her husband in another state.  In her last email she wrote of how she reads the Bible to him, and he will quote with her much of God’s Word, as she reads.  It is not by his “reasoning” but by God’s grace, that he recalls the Word of truth that he has hidden in his heart.

“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace,who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ will himself restore,
confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
This is the true grace of God.  Stand firm in it.
1 Peter 5:10-12 ESV

*Our pastor is sharing this study with our membership.  **”Daddy” was my first book, in which I recorded the working of God’s grace in those three weeks.