A Sheep’s View

lamb1-150x150Here is my shortened story of trying for decades to find my place in this world. Never finding the leadership role which I thought God wanted for me, I gave up.

At the age of seventeen I was convinced that college would help me find my place in the music ministry; I started but did not finish that curriculum.

Beginning work at the local bank, my hope was to gain a foothold at the bottom and work my way to the top. That was not the place either.

I married. My first leading role began when our children were small, as Jerry in his job traveled out of state and the country. Filling his role and mine was not the kind of leadership I had hoped for.

Our son and daughter grew up and married. Afterward, I was still looking for my place. A building and decorating business was not the place. I then thought it was within the church, where I labored diligently in teaching youth and women, writing curriculum for Bible study, singing and directing children’s choirs. At one time I thought that the Lord was leading me to become a minister of the gospel. (This is how drawn I was to God’s word.) That changed however, after more study and discernment of His word by His Holy Spirit.

My thoughts changed to that of leading a ministry for women. That did not happen as I had imagined. Instead I served twelve years, as pianist in a small Baptist church and helped to train four of my grandchildren. Later, at the same time we were caring for two of our grandchildren, Jerry and I for four years cared for my mother as she was being overcome with dementia. She died ten years ago.  The grandchildren have grown up; one has married and has her first child; one is in her third year in college; three are in high school; and the youngest is in middle school.

Put Out to Pasture
Coming through different ages, phases, and stages, I thought that my chances of fulfilling my destiny had passed. Thinking that I was put out to pasture did not seem palatable for me. Where did all the years go? Why had I not realized my own dreams, thinking that what I had wanted was for God’s glory?

As all other opportunities dwindled, I supposed that I might devote my time to writing, which I have done for twenty-five years.  This idea took flight, even with the thoughts of publishing. That idea was squelched as I knew the only reason I wanted to write was to leave a legacy for future generations.  My love for writing has never been in the writing itself, but the content which was a result of the Lord’s working in my life.  Now I thought, as Paul, when he said, “Woe is me if I don’t preach the gospel,”  Since I had no other responsibilities, I thought, surely it is God’s will for me to write, now.  But, the Lord took me aside and you can probably guess the rest.

In the last ten years, since Jerry’s leg amputation two months after Mother’s death, I have been learning to be his caregiver. I have found my place ~ not of leadership, but of a true servant, all to God’s glory and my joy. A sheep’s view is the only place for me in this world. I have been humbled, and whether or not I will be exalted in the new creation does not matter. Just to be at the feet of the Shepherd, to hear His voice, to look up and see the Master and His hand upon me, is all that matters.

Theologians can speak, preach, teach and lead where they are. They have their place. We, as sheep, have ours. No longer seeking others to follow me, my desire is only to follow closely and carefully; diligently seeking His kingdom and His righteousness above all things. If others see a light within me, it is so that they know that light as Christ, and desire to follow Him. I don’t feel that I have to write anymore.  The Lord is simply opening a few minutes here or there and leading me when and what to write from the overflow that He continues to pour out.

John the Baptist confessed that he was not the light, but came to bear witness of that life that was the true light of men. (John 1:8)

From a sheep’s view, I can now see that the role of a wife is the most rewarding of any I could have found in this world. Having come almost full-circle to where I started as the daughter of the Most High God, I find this role of Jerry’s wife to be the one that God had planned for me from the beginning. I was blinded by the madness of this world from seeing, enjoying and fulfilling this role to its full extent. I was looking for my place in the world instead of in God’s will and at home.  As the older woman, I can only say at this point to the younger, “Pray that the Lord will open your eyes to the blessing of being a wife.” Whether or not you can have children does not matter in this blessing. If you do have children, the Lord will bless them through your love, service, and obedience to your husband. (More about this as the Lord chooses.)

“I believe that God created me to be Jerry’s helpmate. It has taken all these years for me to see and understand this. There is a popular book, written for wives, titled Created to be His Helpmate. When I saw it, I thought that a simpler expression, “created to be his” summed up the whole matter of my life. My life is meant to be a counterpart of Jerry’s life. As I continue to follow Christ, in denying myself, and taking up my cross daily, He is also showing me that I was created to be His. This is all worked out in my care for Jerry; as unto the Lord.”  Two Full Plates  ~  Learning to Be a Caregiver

I am still learning that, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”  (Philippians 4:11)  I no longer live in a dream world, but in the light and reality of God’s will and promises.  Out of the madness, through the sadness of not realizing my own potential as a woman, the Lord has led me into the gladness of his presence and power to thrive in the midst of the madness; praying for this deliverance and blessed LIFE for others.

A sheep’s view is the only place from which we can see all that the Shepherd wants us to see, which will be more than we will ever see in places higher up.

A true leader is one who has had a real view of where the followers are ~ one who has been there as a follower.

He who has never been content as a servant will never be content as a king.

Dear Father, thank you for your grace that draws us to your Son, Jesus Christ, the Shepherd that leads us in the paths of righteousness for your name’s sake; for your Holy Spirit that enables us to believe and obey and continues to sanctify us and show us your will and way as you reveal your work in us. Lead us as we continue to follow Christ as His servant and to serve others for your glory. This is our joy as you are preparing us for the eternal glory that you have promised in Christ. In His name I pray and praise you. Amen.

Update: January 28, 2017.  Ten years after Jerry’s amputation and a heart attack in December 2015, we have published six of our books, another to be published next month. The Lord has blessed phenomenally through these last two years to lead us in this endeavor, so as to donate profits from our books to missions and charity. A sheep can never be happier than when he/she stays close to the shepherd. You can find our books on Amazon. ~ Fran

19 thoughts on “A Sheep’s View

  1. I so share the feelings you have expressed here of searching and not finding quite the role God wishes for me to be in. And, like you say, you find it where you least look for it. Thanking you for giving life to many of my feelings.

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    • Thank you for your response. My page A Sheep’s View was followed by the Lord’s blessings to be able to publish this month. It pays many rewards and blessings when we wait for His timing and His way.
      I, too look forward to seeing how the Lord will bless in our sharing His work in our lives.

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  2. You are a great and gifted writer, only surpassed by your commitment to your husband and God. You are the perfect role model for us all: to stop striving and instead begin thriving where we are, with what is on our plate. You have found beauty in what others would have called a burden. You are an inspiration!

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    • Claire, thank you for your comment. God worked in all these years to bring me to this place. (See TWO FULL PLATES ~ Learning to be a Caregiver) Only now has He led me to publish the books written about what He has revealed to me. Your words are a blessing to me. The Lord bless you as you continue to desire His working in your life.
      “Being a caregiver far outweighs other opportunities in this life and lays up treasures for us in heaven. When we think of how much the Lord gave for us, what more can we do than give all that we are for those we love. When we find ourselves in the place of service, the Lord gives the provisions that are needed. He does not call us, expecting that we can handle this role on our own, but it is a time to experience His presence, His wisdom, and His strength. As our needs draw us closer to Him, we not only see that we ‘do what we have to do,’ but that we do more than we thought we could do.” TWO FULL PLATES

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  3. Fran,
    Thank you so much for sharing this with me. It deeply touched my heart. I am so glad that God directed you to your calling and that he is blessing your publications. I am also glad that you continue to write, as this post has truly been a blessing.

    The servant’s heart is a beautiful thing, highly valuable and precious. Of all the people I have met, my Grandmother has been a true example of a servant’s heart. She has sacrificed and laid down her life to take care of her family. She honors her husband, my grandfather, and has taken good care of him all the days they have been together. She took care of and loved five children, including my dad. She also took care of her mother in law, my great grandmother, for 10+ years. My great grandmother suffered from Alzheimer’s disease.

    Even after my great grandmother no longer knew what was happening around her, my grandmother continued to do her hair for her and treated her with love always. I admire her and women like you very much. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

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    • Thank you for reading, and for sharing more of your life through the generations before you. Not all families are as blessed as you and I are. I will keep in touch to see how the Lord is working in your life. My prayers are with you and your family. Could I send you a copy of TWO FULL PLATES ~ Learning to be a Caregiver? If so, send me your email address to f.rogers@ bellsouth.net. Where do you and your family live? We are in Georgia.

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  4. I’ve stumbled on your blog again, after your comments on my latest post. I loved your “About” and now, this page. Especially, “Out of the madness, through the sadness of not realizing my own potential as a woman, the Lord has led me into the gladness of his presence and power to thrive in the midst of the madness; praying for this deliverance and blessed LIFE for others.” So profound and so true!
    I’m on limited wifi so my time in and out of WordPress is some what limited. Hopefully I’ll be able to read some of your ebooks. As full time travelers, books are a bit cumbersome. We carry two, our Bibles! Blessings dear Sister in Christ!

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  5. Pingback: Grazing in the Right Pasture – God's Grace ~ God's Glory!

  6. What a beautiful testimony, Fran. This encourages me a great deal to be reminded that serving is indeed a wonderful blessing. (I’m a stay-at-home Mom 🙂 ) God bless you!

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    • Joey, thank you for reading. A Sheep’s View is but a short and condensed version of God’s work in my life, which is ongoing, becoming stronger and more beautiful as we grow older and more dependent on Him. I pray His blessings in the role He has revealed to you. ~ Fran

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